If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize