She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So many bounce houses so little time
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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