love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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