My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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