No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Will exercising make me less horny?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
