take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The uberlube is also flammable
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
