Midget sex pt 2 tonight
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
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