porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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