So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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