hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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