are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
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I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
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i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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