If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
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is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
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I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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