I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
