You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
