Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
