Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
