and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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