Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
