my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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