I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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