you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
