im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
