You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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