Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
