if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
