You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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