i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
