my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
