see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
