Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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