In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
