About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
