Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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