Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
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i came on her dog
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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