My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Small penises have feelings too.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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