Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
