Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
