found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
