What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
