is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
