your parents love me but you hate me
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
false alarm. still invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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