Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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