I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
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I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
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You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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