Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
