he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
