I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
