Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
