Dude my mom stole all your condoms
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just cropdusted the office
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
false alarm, still single
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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