This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
