Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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