When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
