Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Four minutes until I can fart!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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