Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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