she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
