Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
