I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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