How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
