Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's blow job season.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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