she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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