3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize