why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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