The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
