He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
