she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
