Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
