it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
