Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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